It’s been a little longer than a month since my brother passed away. When I first heard the news, I felt like I had immediately forgotten him; the sound of his voice, the shape of his face. It was as if my mind had washed away any memory of him to save me the heartache of remembering. But as quickly as they had disappeared, the memories came flooding back, playing on a loop in my head, like a film projected on a blank screen.
My apologies for yet another lengthy wait for a new blog post. Things have been incredibly tough, as of late. How has it been different from any other difficult period in my life? I’m not sure. My motivation to create was definitely negatively impacted by everything. But things have improved and here we are.
Chuleta suffered a seizure, last week. It was incredibly random and since it has never happened before and has yet to happen, again, pinpointing the catalyst is nearly impossible. It was actually frightening for me. I was surprised by my own reaction because I have witnessed seizures in other dogs and responded a bit more calmly. It is the not-my-child syndrome, I suppose.
Her cough has also intensified. She’s been chewing chicken chews and she loves it. I am hoping that her teeth will naturally fall out, being as she can’t be sedated for a dentistry. Apparently, teeth that naturally fall out, rather than being surgically removed, have less of a propensity for developing infection. Chu is off to the vet, next week.
I’ve started a new job. I’m in love with it. I’m hoping it isn’t the novelty of a beautiful office in a new city. I feel as if I’m in my element and my suggestions have not only been acknowledged, but are soon to be implemented. That level of appreciation is unfamiliar to me. And it is for something that I actually enjoy doing. I’m not sure how to handle it. In typical Heather style, I intend to celebrate with a few bottles of cheap wine and spending an ungodly amount of money on Record Store Day.
By now, I am sure that everyone has heard about the allegations Kesha has made against her music producer, Dr. Luke. (I will post links at the bottom that offer more information, so that you can get a more in depth understanding of the case.) The internet is rallying behind Kesha with fervor and female celebrities lead the way using the hashtag #FreeKesha and the phrase ‘IStandWithKesha’, both of which are trending due to popularity.
I am one of the few who do not stand with Kesha. I only say that because I am not sure of my opinion and don’t wish to pledge loyalty to either side. I realize that rape and abuse claims are incredibly delicate and have the potential to ruin all lives involved. I want to be fair and with a matter so polarizing, I expect to receive a lot of shit for not immediately coming to Kesha’s defense.
Because this past year consisted of multiple visits to the emergency room, I have committed myself to a healthier 2016. As cliché as that sounds, I truly have no choice but to make health my paramount focus, from now on, if I want to avoid future complications. Maintaining motivation has been difficult for me in the past, so my new approach to engaging in healthier habits is to participate in challenges posed by supportive communities. For example, I am participating in a vegan challenge for the month of January called Veganuary. Having to only focus on being vegan for a single month is far less daunting than having to commit to the idea of being vegan, forever. Slowly integrating changes and having mini milestones allows for me to feel less overwhelmed and more encouraged after completion, and completing something in itself is incredibly motivating. If you are similarly difficult to motivate, I suggest giving this a try!
So, I mentioned in my previous post that I will work harder for Chuleta to gain interesting and worldly experiences. To that task, here is a bucket list I created for her:
1.) Visit the ocean
2.) Ride in an airplane
3.) Visit as many different states as possible!
4.) Meet a famous dog
5.) Meet a famous person
6.) Eat an entire burger (or steak) to myself
7.) Go camping
8.) Visit a farm
9.) Go to a drive in movie
10.) Ride in a boat
11.) Try ‘doga’ – doggie yoga
12.) Dog paddling adventures
13.) Visit “Dog Mountain” and its chapel
14.) Celebrate my Sweet Sixteen
As they are completed, I will cross them off and of course, post about them, with plenty of pictures. Have you considered doing this for your grey muzzle, senior dog?
I am fearful of time. It is indiscriminate and unstoppable and terrifying. The moments of health and happiness are fleeting. It is the awfulness and pain of life that are constant and permanent.
And now that Christmas, 2015, has come and gone, so has my optimism and holiday spirit. Chuleta’s health has begun to deteriorate very quickly. It’s almost as if it is trying to catch up with her fifteenth birthday, which just passed, by attacking her weak, little, hind legs. I’ve had to carry her, most places, and she has rarely gotten out of bed, save to eat. She is forced outside to use the bathroom and often times, does not make it, so accidents are frequent. This drives me batty, which I’ve mentioned before, and I’m having a hard time accepting it as old age. I don’t know why I am so thick.