I realized, a few years ago, that keeping my distance from some family members helped to alleviate and/or prevent a great deal of anxiety and stress, but I’m coming to find that even minimal contact can leave me reeling. Some great advice I have received from countless friends has been to just cut these toxic people out of my life, for good, which is far easier said than done (and I should mention that none of these advice-givers are Italian…). So here are some tips for dealing with unavoidable bitches who work so hard to kill your vibe:
Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe: How to Deal With Toxic Family Members
Drink – Dull your senses so that when vicious daggers disguised as gems of wisdom are thrown at you, they are far less hurtful and therefore, you are not likely to really appreciate them until recovering from your hangover, the next day. Also, alcohol allows for most offensive things to seem less so and makes everything funny.
Smoke Weed – Another way to avoid experiencing the pain that comes with toxic family visits is to dull your senses, completely. The likelihood of even processing the words that are said to you if you are high as a kite are slim, making the possibility of later wanting to kill yourself, equally small. My brother was a master at this method.
Eat – Ah, food! My favorite defense mechanism. Not only does eating offer solace, in the moment, but it also lives in your fridge and offers you late-night comfort when you don’t have anyone to snuggle, but need something to fill your sadness void when you cry about how hard you try to get along with everyone, but they will never understand you! (Just me…?)
Be Happy – Throw everyone off their game by living your life and not giving a fuck. The older I get, the less fucks I give, and in all seriousness, that is a priceless feeling. Your life is for you, not something to be flaunted at random family events by kin living vicariously through you or something that should be gossiped about by people who claim they want to do what is in your best interest.
Be Better/Kill ‘Em With Kindness – This is something that I continue to struggle with. It is so difficult not to react, but the truth is, these people thrive on drama and self-righteousness, and if you react, you are simply feeding the trolls. Do not stoop to the same level. Do not allow yourself to be sucked into things that do not matter and will only impact you negatively.
If you’re lucky like me, you have a few people that you would do anything for and who will support you, no matter what. Those are the people to spend energy on; those are the people who matter most. You cannot choose your family, but you can choose to interact with people who make you better. Everyone else… fuck ‘em. Choose wisely!